TML IS E LAST DAY OF SEM 2... which means tat im gg 2 separate frm my classmate again... tis sem is ready a hard time 4 mi... lot of things happened... especially during e last month of sem 2...

during e start of e last month of sem 2... e incident tat happen really hurt deep inside my heart... hate tis feeling... trying my best 2 retrieve e frenzship... but tat person dun seem 2 appreciate it... kip on looking @ mi... i kip looking @ tat person... wanna find out wat had happened... but tis strategy seem 2 fail... e silly & stubborn mi... slowly... i started 2 hate tis person... y tat person wanna do tis 2 mi... therefore... i started 2 stare @ tat person...

THEN... another incident happened again... which caused mi 2 c e true colour of sum1... tis sum1 is really very crafty... i believe tis person so much... becuz of tis incident... i learnt my lesson... frenz who know mi 4 very long de tell mi tis: " san, its time 4 u 2 grow up le... learn how 2 judge ppl... tis world is cruel... there are all sorts of ppl... dun believe in ppl juz becuz they treat u gd... u muz nt be so soft-hearted... u treat other so gd... u trust dem so much... wat u get back is all juz bull shit..."

HAIZ... crying almost everyday aft both incident... it really hurt mi alot... in sch... making myself 2 put on a smiley face... pretend & pretend.... which i tink is stupid... but i still do it...

TIS CRUEL WORLD FORCE MI 2 GROW UP WITHIN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME...

I MAKE A CRUEL DECISION... SOME OF DEM NOE WAT I MEAN BA... HAHA...

haha...

IM FORCE TO GROW UP WITHIN A DAY… IM FORCE TO FACE E CRUELNESS OF E WORLD…
EVERYTHING AROUND MI HAS CHANGED… PEOPLE ARD MI HAS CHANGED… CHANGING INTO A DIFFERENT PERSON TAT I DO NOT KNOW… EVERY WORDS/ SENTENCE/ACTION THEY SAY/DO HAVE AN HINDER MEANING IN IT...

I KEEP QUIET DOES NOT MEAN IM JUST TAT STUPID ENOUGH TAT I DUN UNDERSTAND WAT U ALL HAD SAID OR I MERELY AFRAID OF U ALL… I KEEP QUIET IS BECAUSE I TREAT ALL OF U AS MY FRIENDS… I DUN WAN 2 HAVE ANY CONFLICTS/MISUNDERSTANDING WITH U ALL TAT CAUSES UNHAPPINESS…

IF U ALL FEELS HAPPY WITHOUT MI, DEN I WILL LEAVE… AS LONG AS U ALL HAPPY CAN LE…

TIS SEMESTER IS GG 2 END IN 2 DAYS TIME… IM HAPPY TAT I GET TO KNOW ALL E PPL IN W25D… FIFI, MC, SEOK ENG, KEITH, YINGJING, AMY, JAMES, IZWAN, HAZIQ, DILLON, SUHANA, SAMM, HARVEER…ETC…

EVEN THOUGH E MEMORIES IS SHORT… BUT ALL E MEMORIES TAT U ALL LEFT IN MI WILL ALWAYS BE THOSE HAPPIER ONE…

GOOD LUCK & ALL E BEST 2 U ALL….

PS: DO NT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER… REMB…

IM I MAKING E RITE DECISION??? IM NT GG 2 CARE ANYTHING ARD MI... NT GG 2 SETTLE E THINGS THAT I WANNA SETTLE BE4 TIS SEM ENDS... I JUZ WANNA PASS TIS SEM PEACEFULLY...

IM NT CONVINCE AS NO REASON IS GIVEN 2 MI... EVERY1 TELL MI TAT I DID NTH WRONG... AS MI NT 2 THINK ABT IT.... DID I REALLY DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG??? I DUNNO... I REALLY DUNNO...

HAIZ... I WORKING VERY HARD EVERYDAY... ACTING AS NORMAL... STOP ALL THOSE STARRING & ALL SORTS OF NONSENSE... HAHA... I DEN DUN WAN BE SO CHILDISH LEH... HEE...

U ALL WISH MI GOOD LUCK BA... PRAY 4 MI TAT I CAN GET MY REASON WITHOUT ANY REGRET... PRAY 4 MI TAT I PULL THRU THIS PERIOD OF TIME... HAHA...

HMMM... MY LIFE IS SIMPLY TOO TIRED FOR MI LE... HAIZ... IM JUZ TOO TIRED... I WANNA REST LE... REALLY REALLY...

I DECIDED 2 LISTEN 2 MY MUM... IM REGRETTING 4 NT LISTENING 2 HER ADVICE EARLIER ON... WHICH CAUSE MI INTO TIS STAGE... ITS MY RETRIBUTION...

I WIL NV TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE... LEARNING 2 BE SELF-FISH... LEARNING NT 2 BE SO SOFT HEARTED... TIS IS WAT MY FRENZ TOK MI... THEY DUN WAN MI 2 GET HURT ANYMORE...

OH... AND ALSO... LEARNING NT 2 LEAK MY FEELING EASILY... IF NT OTHERS WILL MAKE USE OF MI... THX 2 SUM1 HU TELL MI TIS...

MY FRENZ SAY IM SILLY... STUBBORN... INDEED I AM... HAIZZ... WAT 2 DO... CANT CHANGE OVER A NITE DE MA...

THINKING BACK... ITS TRUE TAT ITS NO POINT THINKING OF THINGS THAT CANT BE RETRIEVE...

I JUZ WAN 2 BE ALONE... DUN WORRY ABT MI... NTH WILL HAPPEN 2 MI DE...

hmmm... "Presentation is over... Next tIme gt qn ask during presentation..."
tat is sumting sum1 commented... its stays deep in my heart... i noe its my fault tat i nv ask during UR presentation time... as wat u say... I DO EVERYTHING ALSO SLOW... so tis time as USUALLY, IM JUZ TOO SLOW 2 REACT...

thanks for ur comment... u wanna think tat i did it on purpose... den i also nth 2 say... watever ur thinking is ur business... e more unhappy i am... it seem tat e more happy u r... so wat 4 i make myself suffer becuz of "U"...

becuz of ur "BIG" words... now whole class noe tat we r nt in a gd term... so i juz dun nid 2 pretend or stays quiet le... i asked u watever i wanna ask le... u juz seem dun bother 2 reply... so e fault dun lies on me...

SO... pls dun always give mi tat type of face... i more innocent lor... as if i deserve all those "TREATMENT" by u... i dun even noe e reason behind it... or maybe lik wat others say... i think too much... i also hope tat i think too much... but things does not happen as wat it is... there is always a reason behind watever tat had happen...

telling u all tis is juz a waste of my effort... cuz u dun even bother... SO... i wont be saying abt "U" inside my blog... cuz "I DUN EVEN NOE U"....

HAHA... I DECIDED LE... I RATHER LET IT GO BA... EVEN THOUGH I MIGHT REGRET... I WANNA FIND OUT E REASON... SINCE HE DUN WAN SAY... I ALSO DUN WAN FORCE LE...

I NOE I WILL REGRET... BUT WAT I CAN SAY IS TAT " SINCE SUM1 DUN WAN CHERISH TIS FRIENDSHIP... WAT FOR I SO ONE-SIDED... KIP HOLDING ON WIT IT... SUAN LE BA... "

HAHA... IT MIGHT SOUND CHILDISH... BUT TATS IS WAT I WANNA SAY... I HAD DONE MY PART... SO I DUN TINK I DID SUMTHING WRONG... EVEN IF I DID... I ALREADY APOLOGISE LE... WAT HE STILL WAN MI DO... I HAVE ENOUGH OF ALL THOSE...

I DUN WAN 2 HURT MYSELF MORE... HAIZZ... ONLI JERINA WILL NOE HOW I FEEL... HAIZ... I SAY SO MUCH ALSO NO USE... CANT CHANGE E SITUATION MA... HAHA....

HU CAN TELL MI WAT HAPPENED????
I dunno y e situation become like tat… I seem lik becoming worst… I really dunno y… REALLY… REALLY… y all this thingy always falls on me??? WHY???

From sem 1 till now… I cherish friendship a lot… I grab tied on it… once it seem lik gg to loosen, I will try all methods to fix it back… BUT… im always e one hu do tis STUPID thingy when no1 REALLY appreciate it….

HU AM I TO DEM???? I tink I juz lik a piece of tissue paper… when they need it, they will use it… when they don’t need it, they will juz throw it to a side… cant even bother abt it… I HATE TIS FEELING!!!!

IM A VERY STRAIGHT FORWARD PERSON!!! MAYBE SUMTIMES I SAID SUMTING TAT REALLY HURT DEM ALL… IM REALLY SORRY FOR TAT… BUT… SUMTIME… I REALLY DUNNO WAT IS WRONG… 2DAY U TALK 2 MI HAPPILY… TML… THEY DUN EVEN CARE ABT MI… I REALLY DUNNO WAT’S WRONG!!!!

CAN SUM1 TELL MI WAT’S WRONG????

If it’s my fault feel free 2 say… I welcome all comments… BUT… IF U R JUZ PLAYING MY FEELING… DEN I GT NTH 2 SAY… everytime when I tink of it… tears will start 2 roll down my eyes…

IF IT’S REALLY TAT HARD 2 MAINTAIN OUR FRIENDSHIP… IF U TINK TIS FRIENDSHIP DOESN’T WORTH U HANDLING IT… DEN…. DEN….

我只想跟以前一样，真的有那么难吗？？？ 我真的不明白。。。 你不说，只是一直在用眼神说话。。。要我怎样明白。。。 请不要那么做了。。。 我不想每天以泪洗面。。。 不管心中有多少话要说，我都无法用说得来表达。。。 我可以做的只能默默地在一边看着你。。。

第一次见到你的时候
对你的印象并不深刻
只知道很多人在赞赏你
然而当时的我，却非常、非常地
不屑。。。。 不屑去认识你

在一个偶然的机会下
你我认识了
当时的你我，都非常地陌生
对白也不多每当你我碰面
你总向我报以甜甜的微笑
久而久之
我被你散发出来的气质
深深吸引着
我发现自己，已在不知不觉中
喜欢上了你

但。。。。
个性内向的我
始终不敢向你，表达我的心意
也深怕。。。。
会遭拒绝

所以，我选择了
什么都不要
因为，不可能的事，
就让它在黑暗中
随着白天到来
而散去吧。。。

有些人会幸福的说：“让我重新选择的话，我还是会爱上他。”

另一些人却说：“让我重新选择的话，我不会爱上他。”这样说的人，不一定是后悔，也不一定是不够爱这个人。 也许，她跟说“我还是会爱上他“的人一样，都是深深爱着对方的。

爱，也是有痛苦的。爱，有时候是一个重担，是一种无奈。你爱上他，欲罢不能。你搬来不想开始，但是开始了。你胆战心惊，害怕失去他。你没有安全感，你觉得代价太大了。你可以离开她， 然而，你做不到。每次看到他，你就会心软，不忍心说离别。这样下去，会要了你的命。有一天，你会恨他， 或者他会恨你。你知道你们终究不能长相厮守的。即使让你重新选择，你不会爱上他。

不爱上他，就没有痛苦，也不需要抉择。

不爱上他，就不会害怕失去他。

不爱上他， 就不需要担心自己会无止境地付出。

不爱上他，就不会因为无法跟他长相厮守而难过。

不爱上他，就不会有无奈。

即使有一天我跟你说：“让我重新选择的话，我不会爱上你。”你能体谅我的心情吗？


Ps: haha... find it interesting... lol... thx 2 sum1... lol...

gg sentosa tml... shld be a very happy thing... but... onli a few ppl gg.... it shld be a class outing... but... ended up wit onli 5 of our class de ppl gg... summore, some of dem among e 5 haven double confirm yet...

some of dem leh... confirm wit us earlier... but... last min say cannt go... WT... damn angry lor... cant they juz inform earlier... summore... when they say they gg... they shld nt plan anything on tat day... or shld haven confirm tat they r totally free on tat day be4 they confirm wit us ma... so irresponsible...

im nt gg 2 plan any class outing or attending any class outing anymore... tats all useless... when all of dem dun wan co-operate... in e end... wat we get is juz happy 4 nth... really nth...

I HATE U....

DAMN ANGRY ARHHHH..... UNTIL MY TEARS JUZ ROLL DOWN.... STUPID FUCKER... MADE MI CRY IN E BRGINNING OF 2008..... GRRRR.... :'(

haha... nv work le... staying @ home tis few days... nth do... watch some show... emoing... haha... reflecting back abt all e things tat happened frm e moment i stepped into RP... haha...

cant think of anything out of it... haha... make alot of best fren... yong2, mich, CL, randall, chris, sky... my new classmate leh... im lucky tat i get to noe seok eng, amy, fifi, & mc... haha... nt noeing dem much... haha... but they very gd la... tats all i can say... lol...

i wanna 4get everything... forget all e things happened during 2007... haha... starting a new life frm e start of 2008... will i change into a better or a worst one... haha... lets wait & see ba... tis is a road of no return... haha...

Happy New Year!!!

2007 ended!!! Reflecting back… I feel so sinned during 2007… I hurt many of my frenz… those tat really care abt mi… including those frm my new class… I dunno how to express my feelings… tis cuz lots of misunderstanding… im too self-fish… I juz tink of my own instead of others… I juz gt a feeling tat they kip gg away frm mi… far far away…. Until I cant see their shadows…. REALLY SORRY TO ALL FOR ALL THE THINGS TAT I HAD DONE TO U ALL, TAT HURT U ALL….

在这新的一年，我不敢奢望，不敢希望，更不敢盼望。。。 我伤害到好多我身边的朋友！！！ 我好后悔！！！ 但一切都来不及了。。。 我发现我根本都不了解他们。。。 他们一次又一次的再忍耐着。。。 我却一次又一次的无理取闹。。。

现在，我只想快一点换新的班。。。不想再继续这所有的一切。。。

Ps: 对不起！我知道我的无理取闹让你很困挠。。。 虽然你一句话都没有说，但你的一举一动已经说明了一切。。。 我不知道怎样去弥补。。。 只能向傻瓜一样。。。 把它当作没一这回事。。。 一直找个话题来聊。。。但都耐不久。。。 你就在忍一下吧。。。 不久，这就会过了。。。 我的好朋友！！！